shawal

ok. 2 days of hari raya have passed. hmm...do i feel anything? neh... i expected raya would be more celebratory this year cuz i'm like in the zone man! but boy was i wrong. everyone around me doesnt seem to be as excited as i am. so yes, yet again another raya gone wrong. so, im going to return to being the 'Grinch of aidilfitri'. i've always hated the facade that everyone puts on. underneath the curtains they call clothe and the plastic smiles plastered on their faces lies a hypocrate. thats what i believe. the idea of raya being a moment for forgiveness is just outrageous. like, if you didn't do anything wrong, why apologise? it just totally doesnt make sense. thats why i refrain from taking part in the hypocritical act of asking for forgiveness. and to make things worst, these people have to remind me of how old i've grown! this year, i've been reminded once too often that i've reached the 'age cap'! i'm like, ok. if u stingy fellows don't wanna give me the money fine. but must you announce to the whole wide world that i"m 19. my gosh, i should paste a sticker on my forehead saying,"guess what u lucky bastards! im 19". that would make things easier wouldn't it. so anyway, went to matin's place just now. throughout the whole process of celebrating, i was looking at my friends and thinking to myself, my gosh, we've grown so much! once the cute little 13/14 year olds now becoming young adults. my goodness. but of cuz, somethings never change. haha. the gals we're late. and matin, being the clown and the bad host that he is. hee hee. and faidhi always appearing as the cooldude with no problems when we obviously know that he has his A levels in 8 DAYS! took lots crazy photos.will post them as soon as i grab hold of it. haha. and matin, love ur house! its so you! it has ur name plastered on every nook and cranny. hahaha. tho i think the banner thing was a little bit of a wastage, but brava!

am i rite?

one day old. feeling liberated. ecstatic.i do believe in miracles.monkey lorve!!!

huh?

am i really tt vulnerable? i NEED to be loved. am i that desperate? have i been putting on this facade for too long that i dun even know who i truly am anymore? may be i should jus get F**ked and see wat happen. haha...

nothing much

i LORVe My FRenz!

the dunearn besties!

my darling smartee pants. and the beloved monkies; gibbon, baboon,chimp and gorilla...hahaha

love u guys!

i spend yet again another nite out with my wacko frenz! haha. stayed out till like 2? haha. had dinner with samroldhi at the awesome new fish and co at imm! the food is as usual, great! but wat made it better was the company. haha...we talked and joked about the most outrageous things and to top it off, sam had a fantastic time oogling at her new eyecandy, mr. julian hee look alike! but poor sam, the waiter didnt even want to look at her. hahaha. hilarious! and we had a good discussion about test tubes and creamy stiff hotdogs that are jus too hard to settle for! hahaha. we than took a fantastic passport sized photo at some photobooth in the middle of no where. i swear the whole world was starrin at us. i bet they muz be thinking. why are four grown up kids coming out of a super small photo booth? haha. of cuz, no trip to imm is complete without a stop at daiso. haha. took lotsa crazy photos there but ended up nor buying anything. haha. fyerol and i then proceeded to bpp where we talked and talked and talked. haha. just cant shut our trap. i bet sorry was annoyed with us! sorry fye! haha. anyway, to fye, study hard ok! i'm glad you know what u want.work hard and i'm sure u'll achieve it! hang in there bro!

thoughts

i had my range a few days back. and guess what! i failed it completely! got like 9 out of 28 shots. haha...lest, i conclude, i'm a lover not a fighter! surprise surprise! haha so i was on the train back home just now. and as usual, on lonely train rides, what do u do? sit and look at pple. it was so hilarious! firstly, i saw this man who sat beside me. as soon as he got seated, he took out a laptop. and as usual, i thought, this must be a busy uni student. den, i peeked at his screen! and i burst out laughing!!! this guy was playing solitaire! haha. now i know wat laptops are for! hahaa. den i saw this guy wearing this really really nicew shirt! which would look so awesome on me! but too bad! he looked like a hobbit with sausage lips! haha. but i shall give him credit for having good taste. Life can be so unfair sometimes. so then i took off my earphones and was listening to the myriad of conversations going on in the train. everyone was rambling in all sorts of languages! it was at this moment that i a thought came to me. i don't belong here. i realise that i stood out like a sore thumb. den i remembered wat a friend of mine told me last night. 'ilyas, you look like the kind of person who just cant wait to leave this country'. haha....is it that obvious?

mixed emotions

ok...i found the downfall of blogging. i just cant seem to write my true feelings and opinions that i have at that very moment in time. and by the time i reproduce it, it sounds dumb. but oh wel...wateva. so this week began on friday. haha. supposed to have dinner with fuzion/su but due to certain expected unforseen circumstances, it never happened. and so in the end, the fuzion boys aka the trio went out. had pizza hut and caught World Trade Centre. which was a complete turn off. half of the entire show was focused on two guys trapped under the rumble. all the while the words that kept playing in my head was ,'come on! die already!' a totaly pointless show. the conversations they had had no direction! totally no storyline. no trauma. and the stupidest part was when an image of jesus popped up out of nowhere offering evian! hahahahaha. hilarious! so anyway, we had a real good heart to heart talk. i miss those moments! i've decided to leave the intimate details out of this blog to kept the suspense. haha. but in conclusion, ive decided to give up on certain people who thinks that the whole world revolves around his/herself. so, to that person, don't bother making appointments with me. if u're dying to meet up, plan a year in advance yar. ill try to find a space to slot u in my oh-so-busy schedule. btu if i cant find a slot, try again the year after ya? afterwards, matin and i spent a good 2 hour or so pouring our hearts out and we've concluded that some pple are jus not like what they are. when u think you know a person well enough something crops up and it makes u wonder do i really know this person? may be not. but who cares. i've given up defending. so, sorry pal, u're on your own now. like i always say,'when u grow old and have a twin, don't come to me for safety pin.' all i can say is,'i told you so.' so on saturday i went out with the monkeys! haha...went to acjc with the gibbon and surprised the hell out of her wnet i brought in the australian chimp! haha...you should hear the way she shouted! i swore the entire lt4 started to rumble!haahaha. it wa so sweet la! plus, the dance performance was so hot! i swear i was sweating! hee hee...if u get wat i mean. and i talked to my dearest ms chia! she's so sweet! love you hun! we then went to coffee club holland and laughed some more at chimp's fake lashes and uneven fake tan! haha. but we still love u darl! then headed to jelita to visit chimp's parent's shop and spent time chattin at o'briens and believe it or not, we spend a good two hours at times! haha. it was hilarious. laughed like 3 idiots and took kerazee photos! haha...hey chimp! even with the extra 7kg, you still look like a hot mama! haha... gibbon and i den left to meet up with gorilla at jp. ate again!!! my gosh! my life revolves around food! so anyway. we talked about crappy shit as always! but it turned out to be a perfect day for me. haha. to me, this is what friendship is all about. making sacrifices to spend time with the pple that matters. to gibbon, study hard for ur A's ok! to gorilla, thanks for spending time with us despite ur exams being round the corner! good luck to the both of u! i'll be praying for u! and to my dear chimp, come back again soon yar. anyway, aust is not tt far! jus a dial away. take care hun! i'm quite surprised tt i still have the energy type all this out especially whe n i jus found out that all my dreams are shattered. to the frenz tt understand wat i mean, thanks for pretending not to know. if u guys told me earlier, i wouldnt know how i'd handle it! but to that person, all the best to u. u've jus given up on the best thing that could have ever happen in ur life. but nonetheless, i'll still pray for ur happiness. i jus hope u know wat u're doing this time!

my retard family

these here are the people who make my life a living hell. they're my personal rendition of a recipe for disaster. half a cup of my ever annoying sister, a tablespoon of little miss diva fat, a pinch of hollerback hakim and a slice of juicy khairiah. baked with lotsa luv and garnished with hugs and kisses! fugly freak of nature

now wats dat guyz? the last supper the 'hassan' style fatty sweetie pie the retards

should i?

i'm feeling really weird right now. i feel like i'm missing a certain someone more that that person deserves. it feels strange that i'm giving people the attention and time when most of the time people would not even spare a split second just think about me. may be underneath this person who seems strong and motivated is just a little timid guy who has issues with security and confidence. who knows...

someone else's star

i guess i must be wishing on someone else's star. it seems like someone else keeps getting what i've been wishing for. why can't i be as lucky as other people are. so i guess i must be wishing on some else's star. an abstract taken from a song sang by my all time fave band, the NorthLodge. =P

kodak moments

I was watching Oprah today and she talked about something that awakened my senses. she talked about a phenomenon known as the 'kodak moment'. Have you flipped through your album recently and realise how happy everyone usually looks in pictures. The ironic thing about photographs are that, they are suppose to capture moments in life. But, in actual fact they only show our idealistic view of what life should be. More often then not, we live our lives trying to achieve what photographs can achieve. We often try to fool ourselves into thinking that life is problem-free and everyone is always so happy. Take a picture of the holidays, for example. In every picture taken during the holidays, people are always smiling and putting on the euphoric expression upon their faces. But that is just at that moment. At that fraction of a second. The photo does not show what was happening before the picture was taken neither deos it show what happen after it was taken. As humans, we have the tendency to live our lives according to what society deems to be the 'correct' way of doing things.Whether we are happy doing those things or not, does not usually matters. What is important to us is that others think that we are happy. I think that people who thrives upon other's judgements are the people who does not have the confidence and believe in himself. This is something that i think we should all take a moment to ponder on.

virGIN entry

can you believe it? i'm finally blogging. lets just say i was put under the pressure of changing times and the constant pestering of a bunch of influential dufus i call friends. I spent the entire day ( knowing how IT savvy I am) trying to set this blog up. Quite an achievement i must say! kudos to me! So anyway, I'm having my un-scheduled 5-day leave which is totally uncalled for. So I'm gonna spend it wisely. Probably gonna paint my room and most likely, if i can still put up with this, try to built up on this new page of mine. So do come back for more from yours truly.