the bitch is out

This issue that I’m facing is getting way out of hand. For the first time in my life, I know I’m doing the right thing. And in the end, it backfired. For once, I wanted to bury the hatchet. I wanted closure. All I wanted to do was help. But boy look at what I got. May be, both of us are just not meant for each other. No matter how hard I try to forgive and forget. No matter what I try to do to help, people will always view me as a bitch. A cold-hearted, sadistic, mean bitch. And this is the biggest problem of my life. I’m often misunderstood. People judge me. But do they really know who I am? Underneath the bubbly, cheerful mask that I wear is a person. A human with emotions. With a heart. With problems, sorrows, loneliness and heartache. Just because I happen to know how to carry myself doesn’t mean I don’t breakdown when I’m alone. Once in a while, to have a nice shoulder to cry on would be nice. to be given advice, for a change, could do miracles. But where art thou hiding? I can’t seem to find you. At least not in this world. I give up. I think my job as a people-pleaser, peacemaker, voice of reason ends here. I want out. Since no one seems to want to listen, I might as well S.T.F.U. (shut the fuck up) and watch as the disaster unfolds. For those involved, make sure you have your seatbelts on, cuz its gonna be a bumpy ride. Trust me. I should know. Been there, done that. BUT wait, who am I to advice you. After all, you know what you’re doing right?

merry kristmas

my keyboard is 9ivin9 me problems man! i can't blo9 like tis! but anyway, merry kristmas everyone! feliz navidad! to yout\impact, 9reat service on saturday! truly retro! t\anks for invitin me ya. and to sam,rol and meow, tat was a truly fantastic kristmas party we \ad. tanks to u 9uys, i'm now a brid9e 9enius! =p

hiking!

yet another tiring day. today is a momentous day for the fantastic 4, aka matin, este,su and myself, as we put our holter tops, skirts, jeans and polo shirts for the basic t-shirt,FBTs and shoes as we, yet again, push ourselves over our physical limits. haha. yes, we went hiking today! the day started at about 730 when we meet up in the train and made our way to macritchie. althought the official CAT status was CAT 1, no stormy clouds was gonna stop the fantastic 4 from hiking a total of 10.2 km from macritchie all the way to bukit timah nature reserve. After getting drenched, after much screaming and running away from weird-looking monkeys, we made it through the journey alive! for God is truly great! haha. we went to this really deserted corner of the park where we could actually see the mouth of the reservoir and as usual, we cam-whored there. and here's a word of advice to all those who dream of going through this amazing feat, wear proper shoes! not slippers or shoes with holes in them. believe me, we know! haha. so anyway, the whole walk took about 5 hours? but we were not the least bit tired. i guess, its cuz we were amidst really good company. so after burning like one mllion calories, we decided to reward ourselves to a sumptous meal at al-ameen. hahaha. yup. thats life man. you lose some, you gain some. hahaha. to matin adn este, a bunch of monkeys won't hurt! hahaha... and to su, snickers are NOT meant for hiking! hahaha... love u guys!

tkband in concert. the grand premiere

band master marco in action! congratulations hedgehog on your first concert as band master! i truly enjoyed watching you having fun conducting on stage. you owned the limelight bro! i'm very honoured to have been invited to this grand premiere of yours. you're just fantastic can. somebody so famous until i actually had to wait in line to just talk to you can. haha...seriously, you got that goodlooking meh? haha. jus kidding. anyway, i just wanted to tell you that i'm very proud to see you doing your thing on stage man! love you so very much bro! good old frenz! guyz, hedgehog does look hot in the suit!

yet another day cycling

so i spent yet another saturday cycling. but this time, i cycled my bestest kuz at pasir ris. haha. it was like so fun can. i've never laughed so much. this guys are reli a bunch jabronis! and fat fathiah and khai are seriously hopeless at cycling. hahaha...they look like two miss piggies on wheels! i think that my cousins and i have all grown so much. now that most of us are on almost the same level of maturity, i find it so much easier to talk to them. love u guys so much man. we cousins should so organise a chalet just for ourselves. it'll be like so major fun can. so fat! plan an outing man! to fill up ur time rather then u jus sit ur fat ass at home feeling sorry for urself. hahha. and dirah, your idol britney has so gone down the looney bin man! haha. and im so fat! oh yar. i jus came back from what i consider to be the best outfield i had so far. i totally see tekong in a different light now. delta coy commanders rocks la. such nice and friendly people man. well, other than the uptight OC who need a good fat d*ck up his ass! haha. and to spencer, jason and edwin, i couldnt have survived without u guys man. and lta herwin, sorry bout the multiple breakdowns. haha. wat can i say, SAF vehicles are F*cked up. hahaha. GO DELTA!

blonde day

this weekend has been busy busy busy. went for acs concert on friday night which turned out to be quite alrite. it was a moment for recollection for me. i miss being in a lee band!!!! the music was so nostalgic for me. pieces from my secondary school days and songs i played in switzerland.love it! well done on the solo dom! good job my fellow alma maters! a job well done. the new acs auditorium was so beautiful! loved it! and did i mention that we were late for the concert? as usual...hahaha and yesterday, este, matin and i went cycling at east coast. it was so fun la. i've never had so much fun with those two since our last mac ritchie outing. we are such healthy dudes (yeah rite)...so after that we spend hours cam-whoring around the east area! we were like tourist can. and i love being a tourist. hahha...guys, i officially name that day, a 'blonde' day and u know why. and finally today, haha. the stupidest thing happen. i was suppose to start my first tuition class today. but the dumb thing was, the address of my student was written in my notebook which i accidentally left in camp. hahaha. all i could recall was that it was in petir road. so i went there and waited at the lrt station for like an hour, waiting for a phone call. haha. which didn't come. so i left for the royal canin cat show at the chevrons. it was so fantastic. so many beautiful furries! i was liek so jealous can. hahah. and i met aqilah!!! it was so so so nice to talk to her! congratulations my friend on ur 8th year relationship! my gosh! you guys look so good together la. ok. so i'll be going to tekong for exercise for the next 5 days. i jus hope i don't die of boredom! jus one more year to ORD!!!! to my bunkmates who are leavign next week, it's been reli reli reli nice knowing you guys. thanks for imparting so much knowledge on me and for helping me settle down. thanks for looking out for me and i reli reli appreciate your company. girlgirl will surely miss you guy! hahaha and what is with me? why am so confident yet insecure at the same time/ its so weird. one moment i feel like i can live my life being this confident single guy. but the next moment, i'm longing to have someone by my side. its just so annoying. and i just cant stand the fact that i always have to make the first move all the time. now, i'm just gonna sit back and watch the show. whuahahha

ORD OH! (not!)

today has been the worst day of my life as a driver. with half the mt-line in wallaby and many more on exercise, work is piling up like nobody's business. i've been driving until i can't feel my legs no more. and tts not the worst part. i had to take my UNIMOG fem test today. some people have benn pestering me non-stop man. so anyway, i prepared the vehicle and everything. but guess wat, no warrants were available to test me! and they didnt have the decency to tell me earlier. made me stress the whole day for no apparent reason. and some where along the way, i lost my beloved jockey cap which was given to me by someone. and the icing on the cake was tt i found out at the very last minute tt they wanted me to go back tekong for a week starting saturday! i was so pissed, that i actually gave the 'attitude' to my superiors. i've never done this since secondary school man. but after much argument, they decided to let me off this time. thank goodness. at least now i can start teaching and i wont miss my cat show. but nonetheless,i'm still very pissed with the admin staff of my camp. they are the most unreasonably disorganised pieces of rats droppings alive! and today, a stupid officer pissed me off. he called me 'driver this and driver that' the whole day. i was so infuriated but i tolerated. until it came to a point tt i couldn't take it anymore. so when he gave me an instruction, i simply answered,' yes officer!' and guess what he said! he said,'eh driver...you are very rude.' i was like angry can. wat is so rude about calling him officer. that's his vocation isnt it? just like how driver is my vocation. i never complained when pple called me driver. so why should he? this is going out to all those officers/sergeant/whatsoever superiors out there. no doubt that we drivers are the lowest ranked personnels. but tt doesnt give you the right to treat us like crap! give us some respect. let us have some dignity! we're humans too you know. how would u like it if your son became a driver and another officer calls him 'driver'! how then would u feel?

PGL

ok...matin and i went for our first ever musical at the esplanade yeaterday! putri gunung ledang was simply spectacular. it was like so awesome can. its like the greatest epic love story ever. i teared, as usual. i never thought i would actually like a malay production. but this musical definitely proved me wrong. kudos to tiara jacquelina! the set was like fantastic. visual effects was to die for and the soundtrack is simply haunting. love it love it love it! after which, we watched fida's performance at the edge. i never knew fida could strude like that. even with her open zipper stunt, she still managed to blow the audience away with her graceful movements! she's definitely the next Som Said! hahaha...do your thing girl! this is my third addition to the family. her name is kiki! isnt she liek the most adorable thing ever? haha...i know i know... i should stop getting cats. haha...but cats are like pringles! once you pop, you cant stop! hahaha...

happy days

i just completed my MSET course. if you guys need to know, MSET stands for maintenance servicing enhancement training a.ka two-weeks-of-eating-and-sleeping course. yup, so now i'm waiting for my exam which is in 6 months. if i pass, i'll be given an Automotive ITE certificate. so i'll be like a jc-cum-ite student. haha. so, come to think about it, being a driver is not that bad after all. i get free licence plus a new cert! in total, i can save up about 5000 bucks on those things! woots! everyday i discover a new thing about myself. and today, i realise that i'm leading a problem free life right now. i'm free! i have absolutely no doubts or queries or any nagging pain that keps me up all night. i have not had such a life in ages! in a way, i'm quite new to it all! but i'm learning to enjoy it. u guys should try it sometime! and like i've so articulately put it in my previous post, i thought i'm missing someone, but in actual fact, i was only holding on to the hope that that person might come back. but now that ive decided to live my life as if that person never existed,i feel rejuvenated! to that bitch, bear this in mind,' when you grow old and have a twin, don't come to me for safety pin'. i saw this picture on my dear cousin's blog. so i just had to take it. this my frenz, is my granddad(he looks so adorable playing with his camera phone!). the hitler of our times. he is one of the strictest person i know. who is so morally upright.but what makes him so special is the fact that, he manage to rear 8 fantastic children so love him so very much till today. the best part is, he makes all his 20 grandchildren adore him even more. tho at times he appears sadistic(haha!), he is the sweetest granddad i know. i remember vividly the days in Tekong, where he used to call me up almost everyday to check if i'm doing ok. that touched me so deeply. the fact that i have this man supporting me drives me forward. so, to Atuk, take care old man! all of us will be praying for you every single day. love ya!

you

why am i still stuck in a moment? why do i keep wanting something that i know so well that i cannot have? what is it about you that makes it so difficult to let you go? it was just a 2 week rendevous that took place almost a year ago. why do still hold on to those beautiful memories? youve caused me so much pain yet i keep crawling back to you. you've got me under your spell. im begging you! let me go! stop hurting me no more. i've suffered enough. secretly im hoping that you'll jus vanish from my mind. but my whole world revolves around you.why are you so cruel? what grave sin have i ever committed to deserve a punishment so severe. the airport used to mean so much to me. my safe haven. my secret retreat. but even that you stole from me. now, i cant go there not thinking of us. with every step i take in that beautiful place, a part of me dies. i know i can never turn back time. i know you dont care no more. but if you could only bring me some closure and say something. anything. could you at least release me from the wrath of your spell? you were rite. i should've never fallen in love with you. it would be so much easier to hate you. but i cant dammit!

schnappi

my baby schnappi got sterilised today! shocked when i was told by the vet that she was pregnant! who could've impregnated by baby!!!! anyway, she's recuperating now. its funny how i can love a person who hates me and yet cannot love a person who loves me. and lo and behold! the two are one in a complex way determined by time. those who understand will know. i'm so confused but not yet traumatised. i need to move forward! as such, i'm finding love in the only constant in my life. God.

mummy and daddy

heres a reminder to all of you out there. Love your mummy and daddy! "the man who wakes wakes up in the morning having previously performed all the duties laid upon him by God regarding his parents, he will find the two gates of Heaven open for him, he will find the two gates of Paradise open for him on the waking up in the morning; and in case there is only one parent, the person will find one door of Heaven open for him. But, on the other hand, if a man wakes up in the morning having previously disregarded any duties laid down upon him by God concerning his parents, then he will find the two gates of Hell open for him on waking up on the morning; and in case one of the parents is alive, then the man will find one gate of Hell open for him".

eliza

notice the glaring similarity??? thanks to bogeyman, i'm now a star! hahaha! oh my gosh! i did something really terrible yesterday. while i was walking along the mrt station, there was this woman who approached me asking for donations. as usual, i shun her away because i do not believe donationg money. i'd rather donate my time and attention to help these unfortunate ppl. but thats another story. so anyway, a few minutes later, another women approached me. so, even before she asked anything, i said ' no thank you', and walked away! moments later, i heard her ask behind my back, 'may i know the direction to the bus interchange?' i felt so terrible can. but she looked so much like a samaritan can!!! hahaha...to that woman, so sorry!!!! to my fellow peeps who are now amidst ur 'A'/'O' levels! wish you guys all the best ya...hang in there! it'll be over soon!

phantom!

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aren't you guys just excited!!!! i am like so there can....

to that particular person, happy birthday!

angel

Thanks to a guardian angel sent by God to me recently, I finally realised how much I’ve hurt all those around me. My angel made me realise that the words I say and the actions that I take do make an impact on others and I should really think before I do anything. My angel too, made me realise that I do not know who I am as a person. I realise how insecure of myself I am that I need to tell myself that I’m happy in order to convince myself that I am happy. So now, I’m on a road of self discovery. This is for my angel… I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue and I stumbled out of bed and dragged my feet across the room Right outside my front door was a rose and a note that said ‘Somebody Loves You’ But out on the street it starts to pour and before I get soaking wet, A total stranger runs to give me the jacket off his back I turn around to thank him But he waves me with a smile I can hardly believe my eyes He puts on a halo and starts to fly Take a look at the ordinary Don’t need to look for paradise You could be next to An angel in disguise I met a good friend for lunch and we had a delicious mea But I fogot to bring my wallet I felt like an imbecile But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and Bought me a chicken sandwich To take home for tea But out on the street with nothing to eat A man and his shopping cart go Travelling to places Collecting social graces I give him my sandwich And we chatter for a while I see a rainbow wash over his eyes He gives me his halo and I start to fly I wake up this morning Feeling kind of new. It may be the end of something beautiful. But it’s the beginning of a new adventure.

snapshots

Was rummaging through my album and i found these....

the overgrown rugrats!

the crazy people i call frenz.we are like so hot can?

the geeks i call family...

the perfect person

After much contemplation, I’ve finally decided to blog. Thanks to this wonderful movie I watched today. I’ve finally decided to discuss about a few things that I thought was optimistic and insightful. It all started with this phrase that I heard in this particular movie. And this is how it goes,’ lies are like a cobweb'. Telling a lie is like spinning a cobweb. The more cobweb a spider spin, the harder it gets for its victims to escape. Just like spinning a cobweb, the more lies you tell, the more complicated it gets and soon, you’ll find yourself trapped in your own cobweb of lies. Which is why telling the truth is always the best. No matter how bad the truth may hurt, it won’t be as murderous as a lie. One other interesting point that this particular movie taught me is how to view the moon. Funny I never thought of this before. Take sometime to ponder about this. The moon symbolises something very important that we often fail to see. It tells us that even in the toughest of times, in the darkness of the night, there is always a chance for beauty to shine. When I heard that, I thought, I’d never look at the moon the same again. On last thing I learn which I thought is worth sharing is love. Love, as they say is a burning friendship. You’d find love in the best of friendships. And what is love without hurt? It’ll be like a day without night. An impossibility. So, to all my dearest friends out there, let me tell you that I love you guys to bits. You may not notice it but sometimes, your gentlest gestures means the world to me. Like giving me a call out of the blue. Or asking me out for dinner at the most random of moments. Or inviting me for your first concert. These are the things that you guys do that tell me how much you value our friendship and for that I’m forever grateful. Yes, we may have our disagreements but I realise that you may be the most ungrateful selfish bastard/bitch I’d ever known but I can never never hate you forever. I’d take sometime to forgive you. But eventually, I will. Friendship is complex and that is what makes it all the more beautiful. To all those who’ve I’ve hurt, I’m truly sorry. And to those who’ve hurt me, I’ve forgiven you. Let me tell you now that losing one friend is worst that having a million enemies. But to each is own. You chose to end something as delicate as an orchid on water. All I hope is that, you know what you’re doing. And to that someone, life may be difficult for us. The road may be bumpy. And we may never be together forever. But whatever happens to us in the future, you’d always have a place in my heart because you’ve taught me something very important. You’ve taught me to love myself. I guess I’d forever be on a journey in search for someone special. Someone whom I can bring out the best in and who can bring out the best in me. Impossible as it may seem, I believe that that someone is out there waiting for me.

bored

ok... the laziness of blogging has finally kicked in. hahaha. im jus a lazy fat pig. too tired to do anything. let alone blog. whuaahaha...shall do it tomorrow. but just a little update on the life of ilyas the driver. i've just been elected as the landrover i/c. which is actually not a big thing. knowing the fact that i'm surrounded by imbeciles, its no surprise that i actually got it. but now, i have tonnes and tonnes of work to do. i had to service the vehicles! oh my gosh! i had oil all over my delicate hands can. after running away from the evil wrath of andrew our mileage i/c, he finally caught me and made me take a stupid fam test for cargo trailer. yup. so guys, now i can drive a trailer! wow! so exciting!(yeah rite) today i had to orientate unimog too. i swear the world is out to kill me la. been helping kelvin with his essays and stuff. only to realise that i really wanna teach that for life man. english is like so fun! thanks bro for making me realise tt. been giving some taught to taking up mandarin. should i do it? anyways, to all my frenz/cousins who are taking their A's and O's, do take care u guys. dun fall sick now ya... jus do ur best. remember, God only helps those who help themselves! hang in there y'all! to those who tagged, thanks u guys. i had a good luff reading them. jus makes me wonder what crazy people my crazy blog is attracting.hahaha... this is quite random, but does anyone notice that abdullah tarmugi actually put on weight? haha...looks so fat in the papers today la. lose those pound bro!

shawal

ok. 2 days of hari raya have passed. hmm...do i feel anything? neh... i expected raya would be more celebratory this year cuz i'm like in the zone man! but boy was i wrong. everyone around me doesnt seem to be as excited as i am. so yes, yet again another raya gone wrong. so, im going to return to being the 'Grinch of aidilfitri'. i've always hated the facade that everyone puts on. underneath the curtains they call clothe and the plastic smiles plastered on their faces lies a hypocrate. thats what i believe. the idea of raya being a moment for forgiveness is just outrageous. like, if you didn't do anything wrong, why apologise? it just totally doesnt make sense. thats why i refrain from taking part in the hypocritical act of asking for forgiveness. and to make things worst, these people have to remind me of how old i've grown! this year, i've been reminded once too often that i've reached the 'age cap'! i'm like, ok. if u stingy fellows don't wanna give me the money fine. but must you announce to the whole wide world that i"m 19. my gosh, i should paste a sticker on my forehead saying,"guess what u lucky bastards! im 19". that would make things easier wouldn't it. so anyway, went to matin's place just now. throughout the whole process of celebrating, i was looking at my friends and thinking to myself, my gosh, we've grown so much! once the cute little 13/14 year olds now becoming young adults. my goodness. but of cuz, somethings never change. haha. the gals we're late. and matin, being the clown and the bad host that he is. hee hee. and faidhi always appearing as the cooldude with no problems when we obviously know that he has his A levels in 8 DAYS! took lots crazy photos.will post them as soon as i grab hold of it. haha. and matin, love ur house! its so you! it has ur name plastered on every nook and cranny. hahaha. tho i think the banner thing was a little bit of a wastage, but brava!

am i rite?

one day old. feeling liberated. ecstatic.i do believe in miracles.monkey lorve!!!

huh?

am i really tt vulnerable? i NEED to be loved. am i that desperate? have i been putting on this facade for too long that i dun even know who i truly am anymore? may be i should jus get F**ked and see wat happen. haha...

nothing much

i LORVe My FRenz!

the dunearn besties!

my darling smartee pants. and the beloved monkies; gibbon, baboon,chimp and gorilla...hahaha

love u guys!

i spend yet again another nite out with my wacko frenz! haha. stayed out till like 2? haha. had dinner with samroldhi at the awesome new fish and co at imm! the food is as usual, great! but wat made it better was the company. haha...we talked and joked about the most outrageous things and to top it off, sam had a fantastic time oogling at her new eyecandy, mr. julian hee look alike! but poor sam, the waiter didnt even want to look at her. hahaha. hilarious! and we had a good discussion about test tubes and creamy stiff hotdogs that are jus too hard to settle for! hahaha. we than took a fantastic passport sized photo at some photobooth in the middle of no where. i swear the whole world was starrin at us. i bet they muz be thinking. why are four grown up kids coming out of a super small photo booth? haha. of cuz, no trip to imm is complete without a stop at daiso. haha. took lotsa crazy photos there but ended up nor buying anything. haha. fyerol and i then proceeded to bpp where we talked and talked and talked. haha. just cant shut our trap. i bet sorry was annoyed with us! sorry fye! haha. anyway, to fye, study hard ok! i'm glad you know what u want.work hard and i'm sure u'll achieve it! hang in there bro!

thoughts

i had my range a few days back. and guess what! i failed it completely! got like 9 out of 28 shots. haha...lest, i conclude, i'm a lover not a fighter! surprise surprise! haha so i was on the train back home just now. and as usual, on lonely train rides, what do u do? sit and look at pple. it was so hilarious! firstly, i saw this man who sat beside me. as soon as he got seated, he took out a laptop. and as usual, i thought, this must be a busy uni student. den, i peeked at his screen! and i burst out laughing!!! this guy was playing solitaire! haha. now i know wat laptops are for! hahaa. den i saw this guy wearing this really really nicew shirt! which would look so awesome on me! but too bad! he looked like a hobbit with sausage lips! haha. but i shall give him credit for having good taste. Life can be so unfair sometimes. so then i took off my earphones and was listening to the myriad of conversations going on in the train. everyone was rambling in all sorts of languages! it was at this moment that i a thought came to me. i don't belong here. i realise that i stood out like a sore thumb. den i remembered wat a friend of mine told me last night. 'ilyas, you look like the kind of person who just cant wait to leave this country'. haha....is it that obvious?

mixed emotions

ok...i found the downfall of blogging. i just cant seem to write my true feelings and opinions that i have at that very moment in time. and by the time i reproduce it, it sounds dumb. but oh wel...wateva. so this week began on friday. haha. supposed to have dinner with fuzion/su but due to certain expected unforseen circumstances, it never happened. and so in the end, the fuzion boys aka the trio went out. had pizza hut and caught World Trade Centre. which was a complete turn off. half of the entire show was focused on two guys trapped under the rumble. all the while the words that kept playing in my head was ,'come on! die already!' a totaly pointless show. the conversations they had had no direction! totally no storyline. no trauma. and the stupidest part was when an image of jesus popped up out of nowhere offering evian! hahahahaha. hilarious! so anyway, we had a real good heart to heart talk. i miss those moments! i've decided to leave the intimate details out of this blog to kept the suspense. haha. but in conclusion, ive decided to give up on certain people who thinks that the whole world revolves around his/herself. so, to that person, don't bother making appointments with me. if u're dying to meet up, plan a year in advance yar. ill try to find a space to slot u in my oh-so-busy schedule. btu if i cant find a slot, try again the year after ya? afterwards, matin and i spent a good 2 hour or so pouring our hearts out and we've concluded that some pple are jus not like what they are. when u think you know a person well enough something crops up and it makes u wonder do i really know this person? may be not. but who cares. i've given up defending. so, sorry pal, u're on your own now. like i always say,'when u grow old and have a twin, don't come to me for safety pin.' all i can say is,'i told you so.' so on saturday i went out with the monkeys! haha...went to acjc with the gibbon and surprised the hell out of her wnet i brought in the australian chimp! haha...you should hear the way she shouted! i swore the entire lt4 started to rumble!haahaha. it wa so sweet la! plus, the dance performance was so hot! i swear i was sweating! hee hee...if u get wat i mean. and i talked to my dearest ms chia! she's so sweet! love you hun! we then went to coffee club holland and laughed some more at chimp's fake lashes and uneven fake tan! haha. but we still love u darl! then headed to jelita to visit chimp's parent's shop and spent time chattin at o'briens and believe it or not, we spend a good two hours at times! haha. it was hilarious. laughed like 3 idiots and took kerazee photos! haha...hey chimp! even with the extra 7kg, you still look like a hot mama! haha... gibbon and i den left to meet up with gorilla at jp. ate again!!! my gosh! my life revolves around food! so anyway. we talked about crappy shit as always! but it turned out to be a perfect day for me. haha. to me, this is what friendship is all about. making sacrifices to spend time with the pple that matters. to gibbon, study hard for ur A's ok! to gorilla, thanks for spending time with us despite ur exams being round the corner! good luck to the both of u! i'll be praying for u! and to my dear chimp, come back again soon yar. anyway, aust is not tt far! jus a dial away. take care hun! i'm quite surprised tt i still have the energy type all this out especially whe n i jus found out that all my dreams are shattered. to the frenz tt understand wat i mean, thanks for pretending not to know. if u guys told me earlier, i wouldnt know how i'd handle it! but to that person, all the best to u. u've jus given up on the best thing that could have ever happen in ur life. but nonetheless, i'll still pray for ur happiness. i jus hope u know wat u're doing this time!

my retard family

these here are the people who make my life a living hell. they're my personal rendition of a recipe for disaster. half a cup of my ever annoying sister, a tablespoon of little miss diva fat, a pinch of hollerback hakim and a slice of juicy khairiah. baked with lotsa luv and garnished with hugs and kisses! fugly freak of nature

now wats dat guyz? the last supper the 'hassan' style fatty sweetie pie the retards

should i?

i'm feeling really weird right now. i feel like i'm missing a certain someone more that that person deserves. it feels strange that i'm giving people the attention and time when most of the time people would not even spare a split second just think about me. may be underneath this person who seems strong and motivated is just a little timid guy who has issues with security and confidence. who knows...

someone else's star

i guess i must be wishing on someone else's star. it seems like someone else keeps getting what i've been wishing for. why can't i be as lucky as other people are. so i guess i must be wishing on some else's star. an abstract taken from a song sang by my all time fave band, the NorthLodge. =P

kodak moments

I was watching Oprah today and she talked about something that awakened my senses. she talked about a phenomenon known as the 'kodak moment'. Have you flipped through your album recently and realise how happy everyone usually looks in pictures. The ironic thing about photographs are that, they are suppose to capture moments in life. But, in actual fact they only show our idealistic view of what life should be. More often then not, we live our lives trying to achieve what photographs can achieve. We often try to fool ourselves into thinking that life is problem-free and everyone is always so happy. Take a picture of the holidays, for example. In every picture taken during the holidays, people are always smiling and putting on the euphoric expression upon their faces. But that is just at that moment. At that fraction of a second. The photo does not show what was happening before the picture was taken neither deos it show what happen after it was taken. As humans, we have the tendency to live our lives according to what society deems to be the 'correct' way of doing things.Whether we are happy doing those things or not, does not usually matters. What is important to us is that others think that we are happy. I think that people who thrives upon other's judgements are the people who does not have the confidence and believe in himself. This is something that i think we should all take a moment to ponder on.

virGIN entry

can you believe it? i'm finally blogging. lets just say i was put under the pressure of changing times and the constant pestering of a bunch of influential dufus i call friends. I spent the entire day ( knowing how IT savvy I am) trying to set this blog up. Quite an achievement i must say! kudos to me! So anyway, I'm having my un-scheduled 5-day leave which is totally uncalled for. So I'm gonna spend it wisely. Probably gonna paint my room and most likely, if i can still put up with this, try to built up on this new page of mine. So do come back for more from yours truly.